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Wednesday, July 29, 2009

ssssshhhhhhh

Hey don't say anything,
but guess who's still together
after all the shit that's come between them?



Your butt cheeks!! LMAO!
Fwd:Fwd:FWD: TODAY GOD GAVE YOU ANOTHER DAY OF LIFE, & IF YOU ARE THANKFUL PASS IT ON TO 10 PEOPLE. AND WATCH HOW HE BLESS U. 95% OF YOU..WON'T PASS It!!!

Thursday, July 23, 2009

PONDERISMS

PONDERISMS



· I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.

· There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead.

· Life is sexually transmitted.

· Healthy is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

· The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

· Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

· Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?

· Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

· All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

· In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal..

· How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

· Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these dangly things and drink whatever comes out?'


· If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

· Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?


· If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

B 7 If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

· Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

· Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

· Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

· Do you ever wonder why you gave me your email address?

FW: lol

He said, "My Girl is always accusing me of cheating."
I said, "But You Are!"
He said, "But she don't know that."

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

2 days thought...

To get your ideas across use small words,
big ideas, and short sentences