No E-Mail Address

No E-Mail Address


An unemployed man is  desperate  to supporthis family of a wife  and  three kids.
He applies for a  janitor's job at a large  firm and easily passes an aptitude test.

The  human resources  manager tells him, "You will be hired at minimum wage of $5.35  an  hour. Let me have your e-mail address so that we can get you in  the loop. Our  system will automatically e-mail you all the forms  and advise you when to start  and where to report on your first  day."

Taken back, the man protests that  he is poor and  has neither a computer nor an e-mail address.

To this the  manager replies, "You must understand that to a company like ours  that means  that you virtually do not exist. Without an
e-mail  address you can hardly  expect to be employed by a high-tech firm  Good day."

Stunned, the man  leaves. Not knowing where to  turn and having $10 in his wallet, he walks past a  farmers' market  and sees a stand selling 25 lb. crates of beautiful red  tomatoes.  He buys a crate, carries it to a busy corner and displays the  tomatoes.  In less than 2 hours he sells all the tomatoes and makes 100% profit.  Repeating the process several times more that day, he ends up  with almost $100  and arrives home that night with several bags  of groceries for his  family.

During the night he decides  to repeat the tomato business the  next day. By the end of the  week he is getting up early every day and working  into the night.  He multiplies his profits quickly.

Early in the second  week  he acquires a cart to transport several boxes of tomatoes at a time,  but  before a month is up he sells the cart to buy a broken-down  pickup  truck

At the end of a year he owns three old trucks.  His two sons have  left their neighborhood gangs to help him with  the tomato business, his wife is  buying the tomatoes, and his  daughter is taking night courses at the community  college so she  can keep books for him.

By the end of the second year he  has a dozen very nice used trucks and employs fifteen previously  unemployed  people, all selling tomatoes. He continues to work  hard.

Time passes and  at the end of the fifth year he owns  a fleet of nice trucks and a warehouse that  his wife supervises,  plus two tomato farms that the boys manage. The tomato  company's  payroll has put hundreds of homeless and jobless people to work.  His  daughter reports that the business grossed over one million  dollars.

Planning for the future, he decides to buy some  life  insurance.

Consulting with an insurance adviser, he  picks an insurance  plan to fit his new circumstances. Then the  adviser asks him for his  e-mail
address in order to send the  final documents  electronically.

When the man replies that  he doesn't have time to mess  with a computer and has no e-mail  address, the insurance man is stunned, "What,  you don't have e-mail?  No computer? No Internet? Just think where you would be  today  if you'd had all of that five years ago!"

"Ha!" snorts the  man. "If  I'd had e-mail five years ago I would be sweeping floors  at Microsoft and making  $5.35 an hour."

Which brings us  to the moral of the story:

Since  you got this story by  e-mail, you're probably closer to being a janitor than a  millionaire

Sadly,  I received it also.

The 2011 version of I WILL SURVIVE

(I hope you all remember the music and can sing this as you read it)
>
The 2011 version of I WILL SURVIVE
>      ! ;
SING IT GIRLS!!! (maybe in your head, if you are reading this at
work!)
>    
Ready... set... go...    !  
>
>
At first I was afraid, I was petrified.  
When you said you had 10 inches, Lord I almost died!
But I'd spent so many years just waiting for a man that long,
That I grew strong,
And I knew that I could take you on...
>  
But there you are, another lie,
I was ready for a Big Mac ! and you 've brought me a French Fry!
I should have known that it was bullshit, just a sad pathetic dream  
Should have known there was no Anaconda lurking in those blue
jeans!
>    
Go on now - go, walk out the door,
Don't you promise me 10 inches, then turn up with only 4!
Weren't you a brat to think I wouldn't find you out!?
Don't you know we're only joking when we say size don't count??!!
   
[Chorus]
I will survive! I will survive!
Cuz as long as I have batteries,
My sex life's gonna thrive!
I will always have good sex,
with a handful of latex!
I will survive! I will survive!..

 >
 >
Hey! Hey!
>  
>  
It took all my self control not to laugh out loud,
When I saw your little
weiner standing tall and proud!  
! nbsp;&g t;
But to hell with your ego and to hell with all your needs,
Now I'm saving all my lovin' for a cordless multi-speed!
>  
 >    
[Chorus]
I will survive! I will survive!
Cuz as long as I have batteries,
My sex life's gonna thrive!
I will always have good sex,
With a handful of latex!
&n! bsp;I will survive! I will survive!  
>
>
>
> Hey! Hey
 >
 >
 >

WOMEN'S ASS SIZE STUDY

WOMEN'S ASS SIZE STUDY

There is a new study about women and how they feel about their asses; the results were pretty interesting:

30% of women think their ass is too fat............

10% of women think their ass is too skinny......

The remaining 60% say they don't care, they love him, he's a good man and they wouldn't trade him for the world.