Tetanus Shot

 

An old man in his mid-eighties struggles to get up from the couch then starts putting on his coat. His wife, seeing the unexpected behaviour, asks, "Where are you going?"

 

He replies, "I'm going to the doctor."

 

She says, "Why, are you sick?"

 

He says, "Nope, I'm going to get me some of that Viagra stuff."

 

Immediately the wife starts working and positioning herself to get out of her rocker and begins to put on her coat.

He says, "Where the heck are you going?"

 

She answers, "I'm going to the doctor, too."

 

He says, "Why, what do you need?"

 

She says, "If you're going to start using that rusty old thing, I'm getting a Tetanus shot!"

The Diet

Norvegian diet...

Ole was turning 88 and was overweight, so his doctor put him on a diet.

Doc: 'I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you should have lost at least 5 pounds.

 

When Ole returned, he shocked the doctor by having lost nearly 60 lbs!

 

'Why, that's amazing!' the doctor said, 'Did you follow my instructions?'

 

Ole nodded..'I'll tell you though, by God, I thought I wuz gonna drop dead on dat 3rd day.

 

'From the hunger, you mean?' asked the doctor.

 

Ole: 'Hell no, it wuz from all dat damn skippin'

Random Quotes

 "The best way to have a good idea is to have lots of ideas."
    -  Linus Pauling



Nothing ever becomes real until it is experienced. -- John Keats

 "One important key to success is self-confidence.  An important key to self-confidence is preparation." -  Arthur Ashe

I live for those who love me, for those who know me true.
-- George Linnaeus Banks

“Every man is in certain respects 

(a) like all other men,

(b) like some other men, 

(c) like no other man".

    -  Murray, H.A. & C. Kluckhohn 


Are there not... Two points in the adventure of the diver: One --
when a beggar, he prepares to plunge? Two -- when a prince, he rises
with his pearl? I plunge! -- Robert Browning

"The secret of success in life is for a person to be ready 

 for opportunity when it comes." 

-  Benjamin Disraeli

Even if it's a little thing, do something for those who need help,
something for which you get no pay but the privilege of doing it.
-- Albert Schweitzer

 "Rich people constantly learn and grow. 

Poor people think they already know." 

-  T. Harv Eker 

Self-respect is the root of discipline: The sense of dignity grows
with the ability to say no to oneself.
-- Abraham Joshua Heschel 1907-1972


"You've got to win in your mind before you win in your life."
    -   John Addison



Some day, in years to come, you will be wrestling with the great
temptation, or trembling under the great sorrow of your life. But the
real struggle is here, now, in these quiet weeks. Now it is being
decided whether, in the day of your supreme sorrow or temptation, you
shall miserably fail or gloriously conquer. Character cannot be made
except by a steady, long continued process.
-- Phillips Brooks (1835-1893) American Bis

 "The ability to deal with people is as purchasable a commodity

    as sugar or coffee and I will pay more for that ability than

   

    for any other under the sun."

    -  John D. Rockefeller


I believe the recipe for happiness to be just enough money to pay the
monthly bills you acquire, a little surplus to give you confidence, a
little too much work each day, enthusiasm for your work, a
substantial share of good health, a couple of real friends and a wife
and children to share life's beauty with you.
-- J. Kenfield Morley


Make yourself an honest man, and then you may be sure that there is
one less scoundrel in the world.-- Thomas Carlyle (1795-1881) Scottish Writer

  "Helping people grow and achieve their dreams is the fastest route 

to success; both theirs and yours." 

    -  T. Harv Eker 

For me it is sufficient to have a corner by my hearth, a book and a
friend, and a nap undisturbed by creditors or grief. -- Fernandez de Andrada


If you aim at nothing, you'll hit it every time.-- B.J. Marshall


To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best day and
night to make you like everyone else means to fight the hardest
battle which any human being can fight - but never stop fighting!
-- e.e. cummings


Aim at the sun and you may not reach it; but your arrow will fly far
higher than if you had aimed at an object on a level with yourself.
-- F. Hawes


Ah, but a man's reach should exceed his grasp, Or what's a heaven
for? -- Robert Browning


If you aim at nothing, you'll hit it every time.-- B.J. Marshall


Your imagination is the preview to life's coming attractions.-- Albert Einstein

 "I have failed over and over again - that is why I succeed."
    -  Michael Jordan



"You can't get rid of poverty by giving people money."
    -  P. J. O'Rourke

 "Laziness is nothing more than the habit of

 resting before you get tired."

    -  Mortimer Caplan 

  "The poor have sometimes objected to being governed badly;

    the rich have always objected to being governed at all."

    -  G. K. Chesterton


The tragedy of life does not lie in not reaching your goals, the
tragedy lies in not having any goals to reach. It isn't a calamity to die with dreams unfulfilled, but it is a calamity not to dream.
-- Dr. Benjamin Mays

"Successful people are always looking for opportunities to help others. 

Unsuccessful people are always asking, What's in it for me?'."  -  Brian Tracy


The greatest part of our happiness depends on our dispositions, not our
circumstances.          - Martha Washington

"People deal too much with the negative, with what is wrong.

Why not try and see positive things, to just touch those things and make them bloom?" 

-Thich Nhat Hanh

A Picture is still worth a 1000 words.

going through tough times

Each and everyone one of us are going through tough times right now, but God is getting ready to bless you in a way that only He can. Keep the faith.

My instructions were to pick four people that I wanted God to bless, and I picked you. Please pass this to at least (4) people you want to be blessed and a copy back to me.

This prayer is powerful, and prayer is one of the best gifts we receive.

There is no cost but a lot of rewards. Let's continue to pray for one another.

 

The prayer:

Father, I ask You to bless my friends, relatives and those that I care deeply for, who are reading this right now. Show them a new revelation of your love and power. Holy Spirit, I ask You to minister to their spirit at this very moment. Where there is pain, give them your peace and mercy. Where there is self-doubt, release a renewed confidence through your grace.. Where there is need, I ask you to fulfill their needs. Bless their homes, families, finances, their goings and their comings. In Jesus' precious name. Amen.

(If the Lord lays upon

your heart to send this to more than four people, you are truly blessed).

Meaning of color and your Birthday

Meaning of color and your Birthday 

Don't cheat, If you are honest, this tells the truth. It's pretty good. Write your answers on a piece of paper, and NO cheating!! The answers are at the bottom.  

1. Which is your favorite color out of: red , black , blue , green , or yellow ?   

2. Your first initial?   

3. Your month of birth?     

            4. Which color do you like more, black or white?      

            5. Name of a person of the same gender as yours.        

6. Your favorite number?  

7. Do you like Flying or Driving more?       

8. Do you like a lake or the ocean more?     

9. Write down a wish (a realistic one).       
When you're done, scroll down. (Don't cheat!)

Answers

1. If you choose: Red - You are alert and your life is full of love. Black - You are conservative and aggressive.
green - Your soul is relaxed and you are laid back.   blue - You are spontaneous and love kisses and affection from the ones you love.
yellow - You are a very happy person and give good advice to those who are down.

2. If your initial is:
A-K You have a lot of love and friendships in your life.
L-R You try to enjoy your life to the maximum & your love life is soon to blossom.
S-Z You like to help others and your future love life looks very good.

3. If you were born in: Jan-Mar: The year will go very well for you and you will discover that you fall in love with someone totally unexpected. April-June: You will have a strong love relationship that will not last long but the memories will last forever. July-Sep: You will have a great year and will experience a major life-changing experience for the good.

Oct-Dec Your love life will not be great, but eventually you will find your soul mate.

4. If you chose: Black: Your life will take on a different direction, it will seem hard at the time but will be the best thing for you, and you will be glad for the change.
White: You will have a friend who completely confides in you and would do anything for you, but you may not realize it.

5. This person is your best friend.

6 This is how many close friends you have in your lifetime.

7. If you chose:
Flying: You like adventure.
Driving: You are a laid back person.

8.. If you chose:
Lake: You are loyal to your friends and your lover and are very reserved.
Ocean: You are spontaneous and like to please people.

9. This wish will come true only if you send this to five people in one hour. Send it to ten people, and it will come true before your next birthday.

Obituary Common Sense

My parents told me about Mr Common Sense early in my life and told me I would do well to call on him when making decisions. It seems he was always around in my early years but less and less as time passed by. Today, I read his obituary. Please join me in a moment of remembrance, for Common Sense had served us all so well for so many generations.   Obituary Common Sense Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who had been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated  valuable lessons such as knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm, life isn't always fair, and maybe it was my fault. Common Sense lived by simple, sound, financial policies (don't spend more than you earn) and reliable parenting strategies (adults, not children are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition. Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job they themselves failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer Aspirin, sun lotion, or a sticky plaster to a student, but could not inform the parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion. Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar can sue you for assault. Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement. Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by three stepbrothers; I Know my Rights, Someone Else is to Blame, and I'm a Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.

 

The broken window

The broken window

i would like to share a story about the broken window, which is written by Ivory Illusion, hope you like it as much as i do.:D

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Broken Window

As the sun turned orangey gold declaring the end of a tiring day, Imran knew the hard work of this day has ended. He grabbed the water pot beside him and sat on the old tree trunk drinking, facing the slowly fading sun. From behind him came his younger sister Abida, looking at him with her wide green eyes. Her smile lifted all the exhaustion he felt. She sat beside him and gazed at the horizon where the sun was going to vanish into in a little while. Both brother and sister were thinking of the same thing but did not speak to each other. As if they were connected by telepathy. Tears began to rundown Abeda’s cheeks silently then she looked at Imran who tried so hard to hide his feelings from her. He hugged her and kissed her forehead as she continued crying.

“I can’t believe that my little sister has grown up so quickly” Imran said bitterly swallowing his pain and added “I promise you that I will make you the best wedding in the village”
“No… you don’t have to do than, look at yourself. You don’t eat well; don’t have enough sleep and barely rest. I can’t let you do that to yourself for… for me!”
“Don’t worry about me dear, I will be alright, I just want father to be resting in piece knowing that I am taking good care of you and mother”
“He knows that you are doing your best, please Imran don’t push yourself so hard”
“I promised I will make you the best wedding and that is what you’ll get so be happy about it and show me your lovely smile, come one where is it, let me see it.”
She looked at him with her teary eyes and smiled when all of a sudden their brotherly moment was interrupted by their mother’s cry calling Imran. He ran to her in the stable and the old women said in a worried tone as she saw him “The calf, the black calf ran to the woods!”
“Oh no! I have to go get it.”
“Don’t go now! It’s getting dark” said the worried mother.
“Yes, the sun will be gone in minutes, wait till the morning” Added Abeda.
“I can’t risk it, it is your husband’s gift, I have to get it back” Imran replied while running to the woods as fast as he could, vanishing into darkness in front of his worried mother and sister.

In the woods, Imran stopped to catch his breath, and found himself surrounded completely by long trees. It was dark, but only little sunlight made him make him was through the jungle, never the less he still wanted to find that calf no matter what. He walked hoping to spot the calf soon before night falls. But, there was no sign of it anywhere.
Suddenly, behind the bushes he thought he saw it jumping and running away taking a visible clear route on the ground which he followed as fast as possible. Till he reached a wall of long bushes blocking his sight, through it was the only way that the calf could go, it was the end of that route. He quickly crossed through it and found himself standing in front of a huge abandoned old mansion and a broken window facing him painted in light blue. Things were much visible in the mansion aria because he was out of the woods. He looked at the sky and saw that there would be no way for him to return home at this hour because he was practically lost in a place he never knew existed.

He went to check the place so he can find a room to spend the night in away from the cold night wind. The bricks in the wall were clearly visible behind the pealed old yellow paint and bare thin branches. Right in front of the window a tidy raw of wild flowers grew. He could barely see the colors; they were mostly red and orange. They made him feel like they were taken care of by a human from the way they were arraigned.

Imran approached the broken window trying to look inside the house. Something about this discovery bewitched him, he forgot about the calf and all of his worries. As his foot rested on the damp soil beneath him, he saw a shimmering light flickering for a moment lighting the dark room. He felt fear yet, wanted to know what the cause of that bright light was.
He got closer to the window, placed both hands on each side of the wall and looked carefully into the room. As he did, a great light struck the whole place swallowing him into the unknown.

Imran struggled to open his heavy eyelids, his body so weak, surrendering to the spellbinding enchanting angelic voice singing a soft lullaby above his head. He forced himself to open his eyes, and what he saw was way beyond what he imagined.
A woman or an angel, he no longer could tell, sat beside him on the edge of a wide silk bed. Her beauty was indescribable; she was the most beautiful woman his eyes have ever laid sight on. With skin like milk, hair as black as nigh, and eyes as light and transparent as fine agate, he no longer was able to speak, nor move. Afraid if he did he will disturb this magical being. He laid there unable to turn his eyes away from her face, studying its every little detail as she moved her lips to sing. He though he was dead in paradise, enjoying his reward for his hard life.

The woman knew he was finally awake and stopped singing. She looked at him with a light smile. He still was unable to speak, not because he physically couldn’t, but because he had no words to say. She swiftly tossed her long hair that rested on her chest behind her and stood up facing him. The young man could no longer think, he was totally overtaken buy her powerful gaze.

“You must be wondering how you ended up here?” the woman coquettishly said.
She moved in the room, walking back and forth beside the bed. Rolling the end of a lock of her hair on her finger and said “You are not dead.”
The farmer lifted his body and asked “If I am not dead then where am I?”
“You are at the same place you came to.”
“You mean the abandoned mansion? But that is impossible, I am sure no one was there!”
“How are you so sure?”
“Because I remember very well that the last thing I did was looking through the glass in to one of the rooms and nothing was there!”
“Oh, you mean you peeping into my room, this room.”
“Peeping?” Imran wondered loudly, and tried to remember, he was so sure nothing was there. It was nothing like this room. “That is not true, because I was pretty sure that nothing was in it!”
‘Oh’ she exclaimed taking the peacock feather fan placed on the side table beside the bed and continued as she swayed the fan near her beautiful face “There was… you simply was not able to see it.”
“What? What do you mean?”
“You have awakened me from my long slumber.”
“Awakened you?”
“You seem not to understand anything of this yet do you?”
“What should I understand? Who are you and what did you do to me?” He said as he moved to stand.
“You are here to break the window!”
“What are you talking bout? I have to go, please!”

The mysterious woman smiled and slowly walked back to him, stood so close, rested her right hand on Imran’s chest. He looked at her hand then, at her face. He was literally paralyzed. She looked directly into his eyes and whispered “I told you…” she delicately swiped the feathers of the fan on his face “you have to brake the window” then gently pushed him, leaving him lying on his back, sailing into the dream land.